Shared Care

Posted on 29 Jul 2024

“What is the normal routine for a child living between two homes?”

An approach for separated parents and shared care.

The short answer is – there isn’t one!

A friend of mine recently asked me this question, he is in the painful process of trying to reach an agreement for his child to live between the respective parents, he was surprised when I told him that there is no ‘normal’ routine when dividing a child’s time. It prompted me to think about the approach of separated parents regarding the division of their child’s time, and where should they start?

Section 1(2)(A) Children Act 1989 tells us that unless the contrary is shown, involvement of a parent in the life of their child will further the child’s welfare. So, the legislation that the parent should be involved is clear, but there is no legislative guidance or definition of ‘involved’. Is ‘involved’ once a week, twice a week, half of the week?

As the concept of shared care has developed so too have our routines. When I was younger those of us whose parents had divorced generally saw our Dads for dinner one night a week, and stayed one night over a weekend, it was a common enough routine which was largely born through the traditional approach of a mother working part time hours, or not working at all, to facilitate childcare, whereas Dads tended to work full time.

We’ve evolved dramatically, and rightly so. There is no longer any parental bias in which ‘Mum’ is favoured, so our childcare routines have altered with our approach, with many separated parents now using a 50/50 model. ‘50/50’ can be implemented in a range of ways; week on, week off, 3 days one week, 4 days the next, ‘2,2,5,5’ to name a few.

When a 50/50 model doesn’t work there are many other routines that do. Shared care does not dictate an equal amount of time with both parents, it dictates consistent and regular time between child and parent, on whatever quantum of days per week works. I work with shift workers, emergency service workers, parents who sometimes work abroad and parents who reside outside of their child’s locality, and in those instances a 50/50 split of time may not work, but there are a number of solutions to ensure shared care is not compromised.

Then we move on to the minefield of whether the routine runs through the school holidays. Again, there is no ‘normal’. Some parents find the consistency of a 52-week routine works well, others prefer to spend a full week with their children in the summer holidays, perhaps accommodating a trip abroad, some like to divide the half terms, and let’s not even get started on the issue that Christmas Day falls on a different day each year!

There is no ‘one size fits all’ routine for a child to spend time with each of their separated parents. There is no guidebook within which a family solicitor or Judge selects the relevant routine and fills in the names. I will work with my clients to explore what size does fit them. I will guide you through the range of options, navigate the potential issues and solve them with a routine that works for both child and parent.

Rhiannon Compton – Solicitor – Family Department

Call me, or another member of our experienced family law team, today on 01492 868864